Why I Don’t Get To Be The Queen {My Lesson On Mothering}


Growing up in England I knew what it was like to have a Queen although for as long as I’ve been alive she’s mainly only been there for “decoration” and tourism. Living in Thailand for three years was a really different story as their royalty is very revered. I’ll never forget the first time we went to the movie theater and at the beginning of the show they played the national anthem and everyone stood to pay respects to the King. To not do so would have been a great affront.

I was reminded of royalty again this weekend when in our small group one of my dear friends brought up a good point on parenting,

“I think sometimes we think we’re ruling over our children like subjects!”

Wait, what now? You mean I don’t get to be the Queen? That what I say isn’t law around here?

As she said it I was reminded of the verse from 1 Corinthians 13: “Love is patient.”

Looking at some of the ways I treat my kids I’m not proud to admit that I’ve acted like a Queen sometimes and them as my subjects. Hurrying them around and pushing them to wear what I’d prefer they’d wear I’d taken choices away from them that didn’t really matter.

So he wants to wear brown cords with a bright red Cars shirt?
In the morning he’d prefer this cereal over that one?

I felt convicted and challenged that instead of leading and nurturing I’d had moments of acting like the Queen.

That if my kids didn’t fall in line my throne was at risk. {And when I say throne ya’ll know I mean my pride right?!}

But God whispers, “Love is patient”. Love isn’t about them looking perfect, being perfect or doing things just because we demand.

Love means we help them, we encourage our kids to be the best we can be and we try and do it all without yelling. Trust me. I get it. In fact as I write this I’ve had a day with Isaac that is really testing my patience. A day when I want to pull rank and act like the Queen but instead I’m doing the only thing I know how:

I’m clinging to the King.

The only way I can be a great Mummy, the only way I can quit fighting the small stuff and nitpicking the little things is to cling to Jesus. To ask him to reveal to me what patience is. After all, He’s fully aware of all my faults and yet he’s patient with me. If He can be patient and loving with me, I owe that to my kids. To cling to Jesus as they try my patience. To cling to him as they ask for One. More. Thing.

I’m giving up my Queen crown and all the robes and finery to cling to something that will outlast them all: a relationship with Jesus and kids that know and understand the love of Jesus.


  1. Jill Matthews says:

    Great article and insight! Clinging to the King today! 🙂 xo

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