The One Where I Try Potty Training

I’ve joked for months that my Mum was gonna potty train Isaac but this time when she arrived she politely declined!! You see, my Mum is the Potty Training Champ. She trained me in a day. Yup, one day. I claim it was all down to me but we know better right??!! So I thought it would be perfect and was hoping for a Potty Training Boot Camp. She, on the other hand, just wanted to play with him (go figure!) but while she was here we noticed…….watch out potty talk coming………that he goes poop the same time every day. He eats breakfast and the minute we put him down he’s in a corner scrunching his face.

So yesterday one of my veteran Mum friends (i.e the ones that are onto number two and have somewhat of a clue about how this is supposed to go) suggests that I try putting him on the toilet. When we had a baby shower we of course registered for the all-too-adorable potty chair that makes some kind of fun royal-like noises (perfect for the Brit in me) when he goes. Fast forward to now and the thought of emptying pee let alone poop out of that thing is just. so. gross.

So, this morning I decide, “what the heck, I have nothing to lose.” After breakfast I grab some books and head for the bathroom. I set a towel on the floor for me to sit on, strip him down and set him on the loo. Yuppers, it’s too big for him but this is so new to me. (You’ll soon see a post on the lessons I learnt!!) He’s uncomfy but I start trying to read books to him, all the while he’s holding onto me for dear life as he almost slips into the loo.

He’s squirming too much so I take him off the loo and set him on the floor for a second to regroup when he……pees everywhere. In a mad dash I set him back on it but of course he’s done. Now I’m scrambling for something to mop up the pee and make for the bedroom only to come back and find he’d………….pooped all over the floor. I grab him (laughing hysterically at myself and the thought of this post all the while!) and put him on the loo and SUCCESS! He poops a little there.

Pretty proud of myself by this point I grab another book to sit him there a little longer. He squirms too much again so I set him down to regroup and wipe him down. I think, “Let’s try this” and toss a wipe into the loo. Yeah, yeah I know what the box said but I’ve got poop on my floor, I’m grossed out and loo roll isn’t gonna cut it. I encourage him to flush the loo (he loves doing that) at which point….of course……the wipes are stuck so the loo starts to overflow. Now I’ve got a diaper-less child, an overflowing loo and I’m still laughing at myself too much to move.

I come to my senses, grab a towel from the closet and turn around……………he’s pooped all over the floor again! By this time I’m muttering pretty louldy at my so-called veteran Mum friend and am waiting for hubby to come home and roll his eyes at me as he tries to plunge the overflowing loo.

Instead, I re-diaper Isaac, grab the plunger myself and go at the toilet. I then grab the phone, call the veteran who cracks up and gives me 4 Stars for trying. “4 stars??!” I scream. “4 Stars for how it went, 5 stars for my effort!!!!”

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