The One Where I Get Personal

Last week I had a teary breakdown. Maybe it was the fact that “someone” hadn’t been taking daytime naps, had a huge diaper rash all week and was consistently whining. Being the new Mummy I am I never thought to look in his mouth til a few days in I spotted the culprit; a small white dot in the back – AKA the molars. 2 of them at the same time. Poor guy… but ahem, back to me!

Hubby came home and I was crying. I moaned, “Nobody pays me to change diapers! I want a paycheck!”

Now my Hubby is worth his wait in gold (hence I’ve kept him around for nearly 10 years) and no word of a lie says, “Would you like some money babe?” Now…..I’m having a crisis but my eyes light up with Old Navy signs as I mumble past the tears, “Yes please” It was pitiful.
It’s funny isn’t it what defines us? That somehow going to work and bringing home a check makes us feel worthwhile. I never had jobs that I would call careers and yet just the thought of someone saying, “Great job, Clair, here’s your check” is appealing. Somehow the adorable Mother’s Day card that Tim had held Isaac’s hand to write while a true delight didn’t make up for it in the middle of my blubbering. I know, I know, what a horrible Mum I am!!!

The hard thing for me is that when I started this journey I think I thought it would be easy. I mean, I’m a little older than most Mums at 30 and had been in Thailand for 3 years. I mean, how hard could this be? All day long I would play with my baby, plan meals, do the laundry, cook, clean, bargain shop and take some time in the afternoon to watch my fave show. Lemme tell you, 3 years in Thailand, culture shock, language learning has nothing on Isaac! Although he is more worth it, he’s also a little trickier to understand as he didn’t come with any labels. No warning tag around his neck that said, “Watch out for the molars at 14 months!” One day What to Epect needs to create a series just for your little one. In fact I may market it to them, “Coming soon: What to Expect the Isaac Years 1-18”!! Before heading to thailand we bought the book: Culture Shock: Thailand. No such book available for our little man!!

So… back to SuperMum because isn’t that what we’re all supposed to be? I honestly thought it would be that way and had set myself up for a giant fall.

One thing I’ve learnt on the Mummy journey from the Veteran Mums (AKA the ones with more than 1) is that it’s ok to say, “This is hard” In fact once I ask around as to who finds this easy, I find that is rare. This is not about whether you work or don’t but simply to take it from me that it’s ok to say “this is hard.” I want you to know that when you think you’re supposed to be SuperMum, your kids already think you are. If you’re struggling today as a Mummy, I want you to know I’m praying for you. You really are a SuperMum! You’re the right size, the right package for your kids and nobody could do a better job!

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