Not that I would have chosen the events that encircled the birth of Ruby, but I believe that God has allowed them to happen for His purpose. I believe that God uses all circumstances (even the less desirable ones) as a reminder to us and as a light to those living in separation from Him.
After 21 hours of regular labor, I contracted an infection that put much stress on both me and our unborn baby girl. My temperature spiked well over 100 and little Ruby’s heart rate peaked at 208—we later learned that most infants’ hearts give out at 210. We were faced with the realization that the doctors needed to take me in for an emergency c-section to preserve our lives.
At last! The long anticipated arrival of sweet Ruby was here, but it would be still 12 hours before I was allowed to hold her in my arms. Despite being heavily sedated, those first hours of separation to me were the most pain I had ever experienced in my lifetime. Not physically but emotionally.
“Where is my baby?” “Is she okay?” It seemed no one would answer. How I longed to hold her in my arms. It was overwhelming the love I was feeling for this baby I’d never even seen.
After only a day and a half of finally getting acquainted with our little angel, my infection relapsed and Ruby was taken from me once more. I didn’t know how I was going to make it through the next 24 hour quarantine. I was inconsolable—I wanted my baby—to hold her, to love her, protect her, and care for her.
Then God gently reminded me that He had brought us safe thus far, and He was still in control. He gave me hope and the strength I needed to endure. It was at that moment that I placed my trust for both of our lives back into God’s hands. I spent the next several hours in prayer—sharing my hurt and confessing my fears to the Lord—and He gave me this revelation.
God so loved us. Long before we were even born, He anticipated our arrival. His thoughts toward us are precious. He loves us with an overwhelming love. But we are separated from His love by an infection called sin. An infection if left untreated that leads to death. That is why God sent Jesus so we may have an opportunity to be united with God once again.
We can take that opportunity by admitting to ourselves that sin exists in our lives and by believing that God loved us so much that He sent Jesus to die for us in order that we may live with Him forever.
But the revelation was not only a message of salvation. It’s easy to become complacent in our lives, perhaps gradually relapsing back to our former life of sin. Jesus has already paid the price once for all so we may be healed—once for all people, once for all sin.
We can carry on living our lives, telling ourselves we’re doing the best that we can, or we can admit that sin exists in our lives and we need to be healed. Whether it’s for the first time or once again so that we may be able to abide in the love that God has for us.